Friendly conversation, special edition: on resigning
T: Do you think it is inappropriate to wear my T-shirt that says, “Make the stupid people shut up,” to work on the day I resign?
AM: Maybe just a little…
T: Screw it; the writing is small, so I’m going to wear it anyway…
***
T: I have to go and have a chat with HR – the fun part of leaving.
ZK: I’m sure it will be fine.
T: I guess so…
ZK: If it’s not, you know, you could always resign!
Friendly conversation LIII
AM: I don’t trust left-handed people.
T: Why not?
AM: Most left-handed people are mass murderers.
T: I think you meant to say: “Most mass murderers are left-handed”?!
AM: Ja, that’s it.
Friendly conversation LII
TS*: Are you two talking about boys again?
T: No, actually, we’re talking about art.
AM: Mark Rothko, to be precise.
TS: Who’s Mark Rothko?
* TS is himself a boy.
Friendly conversation LI
M-Squeeze: I don’t own any high heels…
T: Oh my god! How come you’ve been having so much sex lately then?
M-Squeeze: I shag lesbians. They don’t care about shoes.
Family conversation L
Mim: Will your friends know to bring swimming costumes?
T: I have done enough organising for this party. My friends are all adults. If they don’t know to bring swimming costumes when we’re staying by the beach, then I despair. ABJ, did you bring a costume?
ABJ: I brought two!
T: You see, people will know they should bring them.
Mim: But not everyone is as organised as ABJ.
***
A couple of hours later…
M-Squeeze: Should I bring swimming togs?
In all fairness, it might be too cold to swim in the sea. But there is a heated pool, which you’re allowed to use if you have a spa treatment.
Family conversation XLIX
After T has, very considerately, gone outside onto the balcony of the Plett flat to have a cigarette…
Mim: You’re not allowed to smoke here.
T: Even on the balcony?
Mim: Even on the balcony.
T: Is that your rule, or the body corporate’s rule?
Mim: She asks, continuing to puff on her cigarette…* It’s both.
T: Okay, I’ll just finish this one, and I won’t do it again. Anyway, I have only six days left before I quit, so I have to smoke as much as possible before then!
* Please note, this is Mim commenting on T’s behaviour, not Mim smoking, which she would never ever do.
Family conversation XLVIII
T: So, you still need to decide if you want the doors to have a wooden or paint finish.
Pim: I’m happy to leave it up to ABJ. But if it’s wood, I want Melanie or Wendy, or whatever it’s called.
T: I think he means Wenge.
Friendly conversation L
Upon watching Annie for the first time in more than 20 years, and commenting on Miss Hannigan’s first appearance.
T: Is that Tim Curry?
ABJ: No, it’s Carol Burnett.
T: Ja, I know, I was just saying…
Friendly conversation XLIX
P: Louis Theroux is Jewish, isn’t he?
S: No, he’s not.
P: Yes, he is.
S: He’s not.
P: He is.
S: Isn’t
P: Is.
S: Isn’t.
P: Is.
Tea: Guys, why don’t we let google decide the matter?*
P: Well, I already googled it, and he is. And my dad says so too.
* Admittedly, later when I tried google, the reults were merely an interweb version of the conversation above.
