Posts Tagged ‘credit crunch’
In the lift at an apartment on The Palm Jumeirah…
American 1: Check out this cigar. It´s from Cuba, so it´s illegal in America!
American 2: Well, as soon as Castro kicks it, Cuba´s gonna be the 51st state!!
American 3: Yeah – we should take over Canada too!!!
This is why (some) Americans annoy me, to put it politely. It´s also why I want to visit Cuba as soon as possible.
PS – Anyway, cigars are like so before the credit crunch.
Around the office we are all so bloody tired of reading the phrase “the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression in the 1930s” that we are considering banning it, or at least restricting it to one mention per page. But a colleague and I came up with another solution: we´re going to change all instances of said phrase to “the best depression ever”!
T: I really think that house in Melville is gorgeous.
Pim: I would buy it if I had the money.
T: Well, if you don’t buy it, RdV should; it would be perfect for him.
Pim: He could buy it and keep it for us until we had the money.
Kim: Ja, but he’s a businessman, he wouldn’t sell it to you cheaply.
Pim: Is he a businessman?
T: He’s a chief financial officer at just over thirty; I’d say he’s a businessman.
Pim: If he were a businessman, he would be working for himself.
T: If he were working for himself, I’m sure he wouldn’t be earning quite so much money.
Mim: Stop it, you guys.
Pim: Being a businessman isn’t about making money; businessmen often lose money.
T: I’d say he’s financially shrewd then.
Pim: If he were financially shrewd, he would have sold all his company’s assets before the financial crisis.
T: Then he’d be out of a job.
Mim: Cut it out, guys!
Pim: But he would have been financially shrewd.
T: No, he wouldn’t have been shrewd; he would’ve been screwed!
Earlier this month my friend Bec expressed her bewilderment about the credit crunch. At that stage, although equally bewildered, I was somewhat intrigued by said credit crunch – what an exciting time to be working on a financial paper. I watched the rand value of the $700 billion bailout package increase with a morbid fascination. When would it hit R7 trillion? Well, it did, this week, and now I am bored.
I mean, there are only so many articles about Lehman Brothers you can read before you start wishing old Pop Lehman hadn´t been quite so virile back in the 19th century. I long for the time when all anyone cared about was what colour knickers Britney was wearing, if any at all…
Bailout this, rescue plan that. Whatever. I say let the banks foreclose on all those people who never
should´ve been granted mortgages in the first place. If we don´t send the trailer trash back to their mobile homes, where is the next generation of Hollywood celebrities going to come from?