Posts Tagged ‘Ralph’
Two bored subs in an email conversation… It’s funnier if you know what copy we were working on at the time. Or, perhaps, not funnier, just (even) sillier.
T: Cool beans… and good karma.
Ralph: Coffee beans… and good java 😉
T: Jumping beans… and a shot of tequila :p
Ralph: Has beens… and a shot to the head 🙂
T: Magic beans… and sacred cows.
Ralph: Fee fi fo fum, I smell… holy bull crap!
Ralph: So what do you call people who live in Dubai anyway? Dubaiites?
GX: Dubaiers? Dubaians?
T: No, actually we´re called expats.
Mim: Everyone seems rather chirpy this morning.
T: I´m chirpy because I don´t have to go to work.
Pim: Why don´t you have to go to work?
T: Because it´s Saturday, at last; I´ve worked six days in a row.
Pim: Why have you been working so much?
Mim: They needed her.
T: Especially since Ralph got concussed.
Pim: How did he get concussed?
T: He was messing about playing headbutting games with his friends:
Pim: That sounds a bit silly.
T: I must say, I wouldn´t expect such behaviour, even from Nim.
Mim: You might from Murray, though…
Pim: But Murray wouldn´t get concusssed.
T: Ja, Murray is like the Chuck Norris of Lower Albany.
Previously on this blog there has been some debate as to who really wants to take over the world by collecting underpants: Pinky & the Brain, or the Underpants Gnomes from South Park. Whatever, now we can all take over the world, by whatever method we please.
The other day my friend Ralph sent me a cool link that lets you create your own evil plan. Click here.
I´d love to hear about all your evil plans in the comment box. My own plan of world domination follows:
Your objective is simple: World Domination.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all
To begin your plan, you must first blackmail a wall street executive. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did she come from? And why does she look so good in classic black?
Next, you must sabotoge New York. This will all be done from an abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivalled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will lose their minds, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.
Finally, you must demonstrate your arcane ritual, bringing about an end to sanity. Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness, and no man, or woman, will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your extraordinary charisma, and the world will have no choice but to make you their new god.
Please note: applications for the job of mean english teacher (several positions available) should be e-mailed to me by the end of this month.